why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
