You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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