God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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