your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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