It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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