ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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