Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
