everyone is single if you try hard enough
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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