Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
