i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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