why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
