After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize