when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am naked and annoyed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
