It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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