i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
