I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
