so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
