I need help removing her.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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