five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
