i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize