thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
