do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
