i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
