I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
