found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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