I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
In America we eat man semen.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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