i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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