I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
