I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize