She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He shit in the fireplace
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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