its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
