i was rollin on her like bob the builder
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Who did Billy Mays play for?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
