My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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