after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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