I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize