im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
