if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
