I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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