come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
