U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
