My brain says no but my pants say off.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
