I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
