you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
