If i come over, it means nothing
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
