I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
