Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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