Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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