I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
