I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
