DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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