I can't watch pbs sober anymore
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would ride that face into the sunset
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
