I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
