I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
