If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
