You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
