She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
