Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(510): View more from California

I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...

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(406): View more from Montana

You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

(1-406): View more from Montana

That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy

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