Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
