I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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