he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
