youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He better not be in your backpack
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
