My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
